I was supposed to be Orthodox. I went on a trip when I was 19 to Alaska with this group called AishHatorah centered in a newly frum area in the Pico Robertson area of Los Angeles. This area is Eruv meaning they bring people closer to god to fulfill the Mitzvot and to help bring the Messiah according to the Jews. I remember going on this trip and when I came back from Alaska we were told to spent Shabbat with the frum Rabbi’s meaning they are very religious like in the older days in Israel. I remember this trip completely changed my life. I knew I was going to be Orthodox they totally had me converted even though I was born a conservative Jew, well sort of. My family freaked out when I came back from the trip I started dressing more modest and only eating Kosher food. To my dismay my sister and her friend told me that the religious are forced to have lots of babies by their husbands. My mom would make fun of me as well as my grandmother. My aunt sacredly told my mom I can’t join them and that it’s a bad idea. Turns out her daughter recently married a guy who’s dad became religious later in life. Oy very. Anyways I always came back to the notion that I would be religious. I would see the religious dress so modestly and I would think to myself that’s what I want. I wasn’t until I turned my back to the Orthodox Jews and found Jesus. Now this is a big no no in the Jewish world. The Jews still think the Messiah is still gonna come; however I don’t believe that. Jesus in my opinion is the Messiah, prophet, Son of God. He is the savior. I’ve heard it so many times. It’s interesting to me that the Jews for some reason don’t believe that. It wasn’t recently that when I was praying to Jesus all these youtube videos kept showing up of peoples experiences of people having near death experiences of either going to heaven or hell or even both. This really scared me. I even think I’ll go to hell for all the terrible things I’ve done in my life. I’m totally a believer though. It’s crazy how you can go in one direction in life and then totally change courses. Jew for change maybe I should start a movement. I mean there is already Jews for Jesus but that’s another story.